For a while I have been promising to talk about discerning listening. In this video we’ll start to dive in. As we allow the Spirit to work in our lives, creating humility of heart and mind, we can begin to listen to others. But not all words are created equally. What does Proverbs teach us about different kinds of words? And how might we listen with discernment? Those are the topics of this week’s video.
If you missed any of the earlier videos, you can find the playlist here.
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen! What are your experiences with discernment in the area of listening? I’m looking forward to learning from you!
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© 2019-2024 Jennifer Brown Jones
Life Beyond #Blessed 
There was a time in my life when I listened to political talk shows. Similar to your experiences with Twitter, when a program was over, I experienced anger and frustration. In my idle moments, my mind returned to the content of those programs and those feelings resurfaced. I finally recognized that I did not genuinely enjoy listening nor did these programs enrich my life. I was filling my mind and heart with the wrong content. I changed my listening material from talk shows to sermons, audiobooks, and podcasts (The Bible Project is a favorite). The difference over the ensuing years has been nothing short of remarkable. What I think about in my idle moments is radically different now.
This decision to change the nature of the material I consumed relates to using discerning speech. In Matthew it says, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person brings good things out of a good treasure, and the evil person brings evil things out of an evil treasure (Matt. 12:34b-35).” What we fill our minds and hearts with is not only what we think about but also what comes out of our mouths. To have a soft word and a tongue that commends knowledge (Proverbs 15:1), I need to fill my heart and mind with wisdom, specifically God’s wisdom. A practical way to be discerning in my speech is to ask the question, “Is my response loving?” The overarching principle taught by Jesus on which all of the law comes under is to love God with all of our heart, soul, and mind and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt. 22:37-40). Discernment is necessary because what constitutes a loving response varies depending on the unique context. The best response may be to listen quietly, to share a similar experience, to offer practical assistance, to gently correct, or a different response altogether. Whatever the response, a wise one will be loving (a soft answer), rather than harsh (unloving). By being thoughtful, prayerful, slow to speak, and focused on the other person rather than being quick to speak, I am more likely to respond in a manner that ensures the other person feels esteemed and loved.
Thank you for the post! This is a great topic to explore.
In Him,
Stefanie
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I love these thoughts, Stefanie! (And I really like the Bible Project, too!)
A colleague of mine once wrote a paper focused on the importance of love as part of our interpretive process. In what ways does our interpretation reflect love? In what ways does it engender love of God and love of neighbor? I’m seeing that same idea in your approach to determining what to take in and in how to respond. To what extent is all that we do geared towards promoting our own love of God and others or helping others to do the same?
Lots of food for thought in your comments! Thank you!
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I love your point that it also matters how wise words are shared. Humility helps others receive the message we share. So often, knowledge can puff up and not look like wisdom in the way that knowledge is expressed to others. I always come back to the beautiful simplicity of, “How is it that I can see and know?” As we seek to share what we are blessed to understand, prayerfully, the effect we seek to have is not to be right but to glorify God with the wisdom and understanding He has granted to us.
Life has been overwhelming lately as I care for my precious mom in her recent health diagnosis, so that has limited my exposure to social media in recent months. But in the past, when people chime in on a post in a derogatory manner, I have seen that it is powerful when we don’t take that behavior personally—their response is not about us. Then, pray and ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) to respond in a way that can show Jesus to them.
Thank you for this series!
All for Jesus,
Denise Pass
http://www.denisepass.com/hi-im-denise
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Hi Denise,
How we respond matters, but it can be really hard when we feel attacked, can’t it?! I think you’re right – prayer is the key. We need wisdom, but we also need God’s love pouring out through us for the other person. Or at least I do. 🙂
I’m praying for you as you love and serve your mom in this season!
Many blessings,
Jen
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